Posted by: Bo | April 16, 2008

April 16th Wednesday- 8:30 a.m. (From Stacy)

To our dear friends and family,

I guess I’ll give this a shot today. It has been a life time since yesterday morning.  This journey is not for the faithless and weak of heart.  Each time a nurse or doctor comes into our room, we hold our breath for whatever news they are bringing.  I have never, and shame on me, used my rosary so much.  The Hail Mary prayer has been my constant and my companion between news.  I did begin my day yesterday as if the black cloud of the day before had lifted.  Took a shower and even put a little make-up on.  Our doctor called and said that he would not be able to get to us for the ultrasound until later in the afternoon, as he was pretty swamped.  I was okay with that, after all I was not throwing up like the day before and was well rested.  I was confident that the news would be good and the girls would still be alive.  Bo and I watched a couple of movies and started a great book given to us by Dr. Ball’s assistant (Carrie) called “The Shack.”  It was the most relaxing day so far.  Dr. Ball came in in the late afternoon and started the ultrasound.  First news, two heart beats.  This is always great news but continues to be followed by some concern.  Our surgery was a success to a certain degree, but not a ‘homerun’ as Dr. Ball has put it.  There is still an amount of transfusion going on between the girls and this just keeps us watchful.  I am leaking alot of amniotic fluid which leaves both girls with minimal supply.   This is important for their development especially lung and neurological.  This can continue to replenish itstelf and that is what we are looking for on a daily basis.  You can see alot of good news with alot of concern.  At this point though, we are feeling good and consider this a ‘successful’ day.  A couple hours later a nurse comes in to listen on the doppler for heart tones.  You have all seen this little machine that is used in all OB offices.  The nurse had a terrible time finding the heart beat for Elizabeth and finally called the doctor to see what should be done.  There was no sonnography still left at the hospital and our doctor assured us that there was nothing to worry about.  The girls could be on top of each other.  It can be very difficult at times to decifier between the twins.  As much as he tried to put us at ease, this was not going to do for Bo and I.  Alot a crying and a rosary to our Mother calmed us down, but sleep was not something we were going to get- and I even took an Ambien to try get that accomplished.  We resulted to a website of success and not so successful stories on TTTS and searched for cases that were similar to ours with a happy ending.  We also tried to get some composure by relying on the Lord and knowing that His plan is already in play.  We asked for strenghth to handle whatever He has decided for us.  So much of this is out of our hands.  Luckily, our doctor called in an early morning favor and we had an ultrasound machine in here by 7 a.m.  Within minutes, we saw two miraculous heartbeats and breathed a sigh of relief.  Followed of course by more crying and more prayers of thanksgiving.  This is probably never going to be a perfect scenerio and will be filled daily with these ‘roller coaster’ rides.  Bo and I are strong and extremely faithful and  have traded strenghth when the other was feeling down.    We know that whether we bring home two, one, or none……we have done everything we possibly can to save these babies.

Bo and I are humbled, I mean completely humbled, as our everyone sends their prayers and offers for ANY and ALL help imaginable.  It is hard to feel worthy of such love!  I don’t know how long this ride is going to be or what is going to become of it.  But I do know that I have the STRENGTH.  My experience with CRHP and my renewal of faith keeps me focused……and of course my rosary calms me.  I also didn’t think I could lean on anyone or love anyone more (as I have always been in love with my husband), but this has taken us to a new extreme…..I am scared when he is not by my side.  If that is part of God’s plan for this, I will take it too.

I need to wrap this up because I am having such a hard time getting this down and sharing this pain.  We continue to be blessed with three beautiful children, they take our mind off this day to day when they can.  And to boot, we have a community of friends and family that we knew was GREAT but not like this.  I doubt we will ever be able to express our love and gratitude for you all.  We appreciate everything coming our way and all the generosity, but our greatest need and best chance for making it through this experience is to put on the full armor of God (Ephesians 6:10-11) and continue our prayers.  Intercesssion requests to St. Jude, St. Rita,  our Holy Mother, and the many more you all have chosen…. and of course directly to our Lord….We know He is big enough to make this happen!

God bless you all!

Stacy

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Responses

  1. Stacy,

    Amen!

    Thank you so much for taking the time to share all of that. It is nice to hear your “voice” in this.

    You and Bo are so strong and are continuing to be an extraordinary inspiration to all of us.

    I have my Adoration Hour coming up this morning at 2:00 and will continue to use the “pink” beads. They seem to be helping! 🙂

    God Bless.

  2. It is so geod to hear from you Stacy! I have always known that you are a strong woman, but this proves that you are AMAZING!!! For you to endure this with such strength and faith is absolutely remarkable. What a wonderful example you are for all of us! Thank you for letting everyone hear your voice today! Love you!

    Praying, and Praying, and Praying…Lenaira

  3. Bo and Stacy:

    It has been sometime since we have last spoken. It sadens us that this is when we speak again. We will pray that God will give you strength both physically and emotionally. We think of both you and the kids often and miss you very much. We still remember when you brought your last miracle “Nicky” home and were blessed to be a part of that. We thank you for sharing this blog with us. It answers a lot of the questions that would keep us wondering and it is a constant reminder that God has a plan. Today was a wonderful day, to hear that ther girls hearts are beating reasures us that they are fighting too. You both stay strong and we all know to never under estimate the love that a mother has for her children. Our hearts and prayers go out to you. Hugs and kisses to the kids!

    Love You! Joseph, Lauren, Shelby, Joey, Alan, Grant and Lillian

  4. Stacy, I’ll affirm Brother Marc’s comment, it’s great to hear your voice and to learn what’s on your great big heart. Thanks for updating the name of the blog – hope is what it’s all about…it was the subject of my virtues class last night. Hope is our desire to deepen our relationship with God – and it’s so beautiful to hear that is happening each and every day for you and Bo. You are two very strong parents and I pray that Mary Ellen and Mary Elizabeth are equally strong and put on their full armor. I love that quote…a dear friend gave me a bracelet that he also wears with the quote. When we see each other sometimes we “power-ranger” each other and recharge each other’s bracelet. Keep those prayers going. JD

  5. Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee, blessed are you among women……
    Saint Benedict pray for us…

  6. Bo and Stacy, We just wanted you to know that you both, and the babies, have been on our mind. We pray for you all whenever we can. Tonight Ava and Sophie prayed the Rosary with Chris and I specifically for your babies. I know this is such a hard time for both of you, but somehow try to embrace it. At this time in your lives you are so close to Christ. He’s holding you in his arms, getting you through this. Feel his presence and continue to trust and lean on him.
    ~Lacey, Chris, Ava, Sophia, and Grace

  7. Your family is in our daily prayers. Trust in God, His grace is never ending. From the White family and your brothers in Christ of CRHP team 4.

  8. Stacy,

    With tears in my eyes as I read your beautiful and faithfilled blog – God is definity working in your life right now and you and Bo are an inspiration to all of us. You must always keep your trust in his plan and know that whatever happens – it is HIS WILL and something fruitful will happen in a way that you could have never have expected. The fruit so far that you and Bo have produced is the testimony of faith that you have shown all of us. I am sure that everyone that has been praying for you has been inspired by your updates and it has stregthened them in their daily trials. An important thing for you and Bo to keep in mind for all the hard days ahead – is that you are doing the WILL OF GOD. You have created 2 new beauriful souls that will forever exist for all of eternity. You said “YES” to God’s creation and now it is in his hands. You have been blessed in the midst of hardship for God has never been closer to you both than now. I pray that he will continue to grace you with his peace, strength, hope and courage that you will need to continue his plan for all of you. It is great news that you are feeling better and I am so glad that you were able to write to all of us! We love Bo and are thankful for his wonderful updates – but we missed not hearing from you. May today you be blessed with some good news and I hope that you can feel all the prayers. Keep that ROSARY always in your hands and the Blessed Mother will give you comfort. Love, Terri

  9. Bo and Stacy,
    We have been thinking about you and praying for you daily that you have strength and peace on this journey. We are praying that Mary intercedes on behalf of your angels and all of you. Wishing you much good news in the days ahead. God’s blessings to you!
    In hope,
    Joan and Jeff Lipp


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